And God Said (part 2)

A Statement of Need

In our last post we explored the fact that God created us in His image.  We looked briefly at how that translates into how we should look at and treat our spouse and the marriage bond we are in.  In this post we are going to look at a second statement that God mad in Genesis which relates directly to your marriage relationship.

Much has been said about being married versus being celibate, or single.  It must be noted that there are people who God has given the gift of celibacy in order for them to be able to focus their full attention on Him.  But with that said, God’s original design for mankind was not so.  God designed each of us for relationships.  And He especially ordained the relationship between a husband and wife.  In the "Eigth Chapter" of our journey together we will look at the concept of what it means to be “complete.”  Can we find ourselves being made complete in our spouse?  Or, do we find completion only in Christ, and then in our spouse find something different?

In Genesis 2:18 we find God making what is essentially an observation concerning man’s need, and how God intended to fulfill that need.  God stated that it was not a good thing that man was alone.  This word alone carries with it the imagery of someone who is sitting apart from others in a state of isolation.  After God had made the observation He proceeded to march past Adam all the animals.  Adam identifies each animal and gives it a name of identity.  In the midst of this God reiterates that in all of creation there was not one being that could meet this need to ending man’s isolation or loneliness.

At this point, let me remind you that God and Adam had an intimate relationship.  They walked and talked together in the Garden.  God met Adam’s every physical need.  There was food in abundance, and a sense of purpose given to man as he cared for God’s creation.  Yet, even in the midst of this vertical relationship with God, man was still alone.  For you see, even though we are created in the image of God we are not equal with God.  My wife and I were discussing recently the passage from Isaiah 6 when the prophet went into the Temple and beheld the glory of God.  His magnificence and glory are beyond description.  When in His presence we are overwhelmed with the God who could speak a word and a universe come into existence.  However close Adam and God were, they were still separated by this one simple fact: man will never be on equal footing with God.  We can have a personal and vibrant relationship with Him but we cannot equal Him.

So what was God’s solution?  He would make for Adam “a helper comparable to him.”  God was going to provide for man a wife.  I find it of special note that in all of the creation narrative this is the first time that God identifies a specific need and moves to fulfill that need.  The first need God actively engaged in meeting was marriage.  Now that is a God thing.  So let’s look a bit more closely at this move God made to meet the need we have built into us for relationships.  In the text God uses a word which can be translated to mean a counterpart.  I find this quite interesting in that a counterpart carries with it two important meanings.

Similar Function – One of the definitions of a counterpart describes the individual as having a similar function, yet being part of a different group.  Think of it this way, your spouse may be different from you in many ways, but they share the same basic function in marriage – to meet the needs of their partner.  The two of you have the same tasks: walk with God, meet each other’s needs as a partner in the bonds of marriage.  This can sometimes seem rather obvious, but at the same time very challenging.  It is not uncommon to find a marriage where one spouse has become so self-centered that they cease to look out for the needs of their mate, instead they take whatever their spouse will give them.  Eventually, when a relationship is so one sided, when spouses are operating from a conflicting set of “functions,” the couple will find themselves drifting further and further apart.  If one is a giver and the other a taker you will have conflict.  And that is not the concept behind the counterpart imagery.  To be similar in function is to share the same goals and tasks.  We will explore this concept further in another post.

Fit Together or are Complementary – Another of the definitions for the word counterpart has to do with how they fit or work together.  When I first looked at this word the picture that came to mind was that of nuts and bolts.  In my tools out in our garage I have a collection of nuts and bolts.  Each nut is its own item.  Each bolt is its own item.  But they are best and most valuable when working together to fulfill a task.  They complement each other.  That is how our marriages should be.  When we see our spouse what we should notice is that though they are unique, they are also designed to compliment us with their uniqueness as we seem to make something new – a single entity called marriage.  One example of this complementary concept is found when God told this new husband and wife to populate the earth.  That was not going to happen had they both been male or both female.  They were each unique in their design but were complementary in their ability to fulfill the task.  They were a God made fit.

In our next post we are going to look at the final statment that God hade concerning mankind.  We will look briefly at God's statement and plan for the marital relationship.